I am still there.
Half way up a mountain.
Below lies civilization, society.
Above only isolation and solitude.
I am in limbo.
"Hell is other people."
I can't go down there -
I have no friends anymore.
They despise my cynicism.
I abhor their self satisfaction.
Their pride drains all that is left of my confidence.
But hell is also the fear of people.
Up there lies the unknown.
If I was completely forsaken, it would be an easy choice.
But something holds me back.
The only invariant in all of this is my insecurity.
I can't renounce companionship because it still sustains me.
It is the gravity that prevents my ascent.
The mountain top and the base are the same for me.
And that is why I stay here.
The geometry shifts.
I see now that I am in a valley.
On all sides are steep inclines that I am unable to overcome.
It is not a conflict between the individual and society.
That for me, is too pretentious.
It is simply me
copyright 2001 Barry Walsh