I am still there.

Half way up a mountain.

Below lies civilization, society.

Above only isolation and solitude.


I am in limbo.

"Hell is other people."

I can't go down there -

I have no friends anymore.

They despise my cynicism.

I abhor their self satisfaction.

Their pride drains all that is left of my confidence.


But hell is also the fear of people.

Up there lies the unknown.

If I was completely forsaken, it would be an easy choice.

But something holds me back.

What?

The only invariant in all of this is my insecurity.


I can't renounce companionship because it still sustains me.

It is the gravity that prevents my ascent.

The mountain top and the base are the same for me.

And that is why I stay here.


The geometry shifts.

I see now that I am in a valley.

On all sides are steep inclines that I am unable to overcome.

It is not a conflict between the individual and society.

That for me, is too pretentious.

It is simply me

against I.




  copyright 2001  Barry Walsh

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